Things Americans Don't Understand About Us
June 18th 2009 08:40
I'm not one to throw stones too often - and I can sense the glass walls about to cave in on me - but there's so much that our cousins across the other side of the Pacific just don't seem to get about us.
OK - so we both supposedly speak the same language - but ask for a 'torch' or even something as mundane as 'cordial' in a convenience store or expect there to be beetroot on your hamburger and the sideways glances are akin to you speaking an entirely different dialect altogether.
Of course when it comes to the old chestnut about biscuits and scone vs scones and cookies debate - well that only gets confusing.
Try explaining Vegemite or Jelly Babies or that our footballers wear little more than a pair of shorts and a jersey and play basically without a break for 30-minute quaters or 40 minutes halves.
Or perhaps that cricket in its most pure form takes five days to complete and can simply end in a draw - yet we can still thill to those conclusions.
And while we do understand that a city the size of New York has a greater population than the entire continent we frequnet - that no - we don't know everyone that lives here - though being a fairly congenial bunch - there's a strong possibility that the degrees of separation are few.
That Melbourne isn't pronounced Mel -Born or Brisbane - Bris-Bane and that yes our money is colourful a little like Monopoly currency - but currency all the same.
We call ketchup - tomato sauce and chips are chips - not fries or crisps.
In fact - the more I think about - the longer this philobuster could go on.
Sure - it's probably reciprocal - and I invite debate from both sides - but for the moment at least I've gotta go and feed my pet roo . . .
OK - so we both supposedly speak the same language - but ask for a 'torch' or even something as mundane as 'cordial' in a convenience store or expect there to be beetroot on your hamburger and the sideways glances are akin to you speaking an entirely different dialect altogether.
Of course when it comes to the old chestnut about biscuits and scone vs scones and cookies debate - well that only gets confusing.
Try explaining Vegemite or Jelly Babies or that our footballers wear little more than a pair of shorts and a jersey and play basically without a break for 30-minute quaters or 40 minutes halves.
Or perhaps that cricket in its most pure form takes five days to complete and can simply end in a draw - yet we can still thill to those conclusions.
And while we do understand that a city the size of New York has a greater population than the entire continent we frequnet - that no - we don't know everyone that lives here - though being a fairly congenial bunch - there's a strong possibility that the degrees of separation are few.
That Melbourne isn't pronounced Mel -Born or Brisbane - Bris-Bane and that yes our money is colourful a little like Monopoly currency - but currency all the same.
We call ketchup - tomato sauce and chips are chips - not fries or crisps.
In fact - the more I think about - the longer this philobuster could go on.
Sure - it's probably reciprocal - and I invite debate from both sides - but for the moment at least I've gotta go and feed my pet roo . . .
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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thats not true
i know everyone
Comment by Mountain Fog
(second try to post here....)
yes I agree, with you on the troublesome roo point, I put two and six in my roo's pouch this morning, sending it off to the butcher, and it still hasn't come back!!!
cheers
fog
Comment by Natalina
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I'm going to try my best to understand all of this so that I can communicate with the locals.
A. So, if you're asking for a torch and a cordial, what are you asking for? Is a torch a lighter? I'm at an utter loss with beetroot.
B. I recently had Vegemite explained to me, so I'm good on that, but what the heck is a Jelly Baby? Would I like it?
C. I'm with you on the part about not knowing everyone. I get that too being from one of the least populated states in the U.S. No, we don't all know each other, and no, we don't ride in covered wagons pulled by bison.
D. If Melbourne isn't pronounced Mel -Born or Brisbane - Bris-Bane, then how are they pronounced? I'm just going on phonetics here, I need more assistance.
E. You call ketchup tomato sauce? Then what do you call tomato sauce? That's a completely different thing here!
I'll do my best, but I'm still trying to figure out if it's a good thing or a bad thing for someone to call me a "dag".
Comment by Elisabeth Fraser
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Australia, however, imported enterprising, innovative young people with imagination - okay, they 'borrowed' things in an imaginative way. Also not all States operated on the 'free' passage scheme which brought the first settlers to the East coast to Port Jackson via Botany Bay.
We got innovative, enterprising settlers, what did America get as their first settlers?
Whinging, psalm singing blinkered Puritans. They're still the same, mate.
I'm English and a ten pound Pom, I've been here 38 years and Oh GOD! Do I love this country! Please let me die here!
Comment by Wilson Pon
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A torch is a flashlight, and cordial is concentrated flavored drink that you mix with water.
Try giving this a read.
Mel-Burn and Bris-bun... or would it be Bris-ben? Somewhere in the middle.
It doesn't really translate well.... dork? Something along those lines.
Comment by samaritan
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Natalina, it's funny you mention the dag thing. Because my son just got his hair cut. And he said that when his dad saw him, he would call him a dag, because that's what he always says. So in that context, dag is definitely a good thing - but in a weird way. It's like a negative thing, but said in a loving manner. Does that make sense?
But I think, in general, whether dag is a good thing or a bad thing depends on whether the person calling you a dag likes you or not - which probably isn't very useful at all.
Samaritan
Comment by Rob Brassell
My Life as a Cartoon
So, just some food for thought. It goes both ways.
Comment by Mau-Medellin
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I travelled through Killadelphia, ahem, Phily in 2006... of all the cities in the States that I saw, Philadelphia was by far the dirtiest.
We didn't even see the south side, just the main tourist haunts!
When it comes to Americans not understating us, I think it comes down to the American education system; it doesn't seem like the administration places much importance on teaching people about the world outside.
Here's an interesting snippet from Yale online:
Comment by Rob Brassell
My Life as a Cartoon
As for the Yale University blurb...there are many Americans who live their lives without gaining knowledge of other countries and their history/politics/etc. This may or may not be caused by their belief that knowledge of another country is a waste of time and won't bring them any reward in life. (I'm not going to learn Japanese and their history and political views) because it would be a waste of time in my line of work.
Americans are, however, very in tune with world events that have an effect on our country (the middle east, the E.U, North Korea, etc.). People can't just simply hate on Americans for not knowing something about their country's culture, when most Americans don't ever get the chance to even leave America. America isn't like a European country, which could be the size of an American state, surrounded on all sides by other "states" all with separate languages and governments. It isn't necessary for survival for everyone to know other languages and customs. (Although every state in America has its own form of language and customs...someone from New York can have a completely different view on words and values than someone from Georgia).
America is a country with over 300 million people, and yes, a lot of those people don't ever leave the country or know much or care to know much about other countries. It isn't necessary for them to. However, there are millions of Americans who do. Like me, from "killadelphia". If you ever visit again, check out the entire city, not just the bad part.
As for YALE, they can take their elitist liberal proclamation that Americans are dumb (Ivy League Universities tend to look down upon any other trains of thought outside of the Northeast of the USA), and spend sometime with, say, a Midwest potato farmer in Idaho, who never leaves his county let alone country.
Comment by Mau-Medellin
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I think you demonstrated Yales point.
Comment by Natalina
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I like to tease a little bit, but it was definitely tongue in cheek. I'm surprised by some of the comments here. I thought MNG was being light hearted with this post.
If it makes people feel better, I get teased constantly by my Australian counterparts who've heard me speak, because my accent is dreadfully midwestern, and a bit Fargo-ish (the movie). I take it in stride because as Wilson pointed out, our differences make life more interesting.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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I don't quite know everyone - but now that I know someone who knows everyone - then I guess I do.
How's that pet echinda of your's going?
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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That roo's had a Barry Crocker.
Wanta make sure it hasn't done a Harold Holt with your Bugs Bunny.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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There's no explaining some things.
The only way anyone can get a grip on us is to pay a visit some time - but shhhh - we keep telling people we're closed . . . don't want the place overrun with tourists now do we?
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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OMG! A Pom (best explain what a 10 pound version is to the Septics) that doesn't whinge - you can stay . . .
Onya
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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I'm not sure what you're trying to say - but if it's what I think you're saying - then good on ya mate - yes - its the vagaries of our differences that make us all special - some more special than others of course
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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Ah - a social educator among the group.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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You raise an interesting point about Aussie humour. Sometimes it's not what you say but the way you say it.
You dag - can be taken as a term of endearment or the other way round. Much in the same way the less soically accepted term of you bastard is accepted depending on whether or not a practical joke has just been played on a mate or you've just been insulted.
Funny how we can decipher a whole range of what appear as insults - but know otherwise.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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I guess you've just proved one of my points - that while this post is entirely tongue in cheek - you have taken what appears to be a little offence.
Think most Aussies probably picked up on the flippant nature of the post . . . we're like that mate - we just don't take ourselves too seriously.
Good to know that you've spent a little time here though - hope you enjoyed yourself.
Cheers
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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You lost me in amongst all that somewhere . . .
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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I feel your pain . . . and yes - all tongue in cheek. Funny thing is - that the further north you go (ie: Canada) the more likely you are to get a grasp of Aussie humour.
Having spent some time in Canada - it's amazing how similar our collective outlooks are on some many things
Comment by James Rickard
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Check this out...
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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In essence - nup - pure marketing - and not too much creativity involved either.
Aussies tend to cringe (no we do cringe) when we see stuff like that.
Comment by Natalina
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Sucks to be stereotyped, though. The other night on the Tonight Show, there was a sketch about the budget surplus in North Dakota, as we're the only state in the Union that is not nearing bankruptcy. They did an "interview" with someone from North Dakota, and he was presented as a total hick with bad grammar and missing teeth. The punchline was that we're better off than other states because when outsiders visit, we kill them and steal their money. Mildly amusing but not great PR for my home state!
Comment by Elisabeth Fraser
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10 Pound Pom!
10 English Pounds-Sterling for each adult and you got to bring the Rug-Rats free! Compulsory minimum 2 year stay.
Cheap Immigration and we got a Qantas Champagne flight via NYC, Hawaii and the rest!
What's not to like about Australia? Okay, maybe Sydney could do with a few less toll roads but it doesn't worry me, I live in the Far West of NSW.
Its even better now Sol's gone home. Be nice to have a Phone system that works one day, and the next, and...
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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Couldn't be any worse than this guy . . .
Comment by Moonfair
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I use to live in Berlin, Germany and I use to work in a bowling alley, and when a group of Brits asked me if I had a fag, I was confused to say the least, but they told me what it was. I was fascinated.
The Berliners have a different dialect from the German's that live in other parts of Germany.
We all have our own slang with whatever region we are from. When I moved from the mountain west to the south east in the U.S., their dialect and accent was different from what I was use too.
When I finally moved to Texas, their dialect and accent was different from what I was use too.
I love to learn the different ways people talk. I have cousins who live in Australia, Canada, Holland, and New Zealand, and also here in the U.S.
One thing you have to know about America. We don't really have to live in another country to find out what they are like, because they move here.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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Comment by Natalina
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Oh my GOD MNG, that video made me feel so patriotic! LOL That is just awful! Crap from heaven?? WHAT?!?!
Comment by Kristin Wolgemuth
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Hi, I'm Clem, this is my brother Clem, my cousin Clem and my sister Clem . . .
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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The fact we can laugh at each other, shake hands and not take it all too seriously is great.
I agree with not having a kangaroo as a pet - besides what would you feed the dog
Cheers
Comment by Anonymous
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Comment by Journeywoman
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As an Aussie I also found the squirrels to be the cutest things ever, whereas the Americans pretty much just look past them. My bf from Cali thought our birds were really loud, he said it was like being on safari just being out in my Sydney backyard and hearing the kookaburras, lorrikeets and cockatoos. Apparently our possums are adorable compared to theirs.... I could go on forever mate.......
As for PB and J? DISGUSTING!!!