I'm Officially An Old Man
May 5th 2011 01:40
Neil Young probably summed it up with the tune "Old Man"
The signs all presented themselves - not once, not even twice but three times, so using the tried and true method of five-year-olds around the world that 'three times proves it' - I guess I must be ready for stewed prunes and retirement living.
Let me explain.
Monday - and feeling pretty good about myself I returned home from an early morning jog (if in fact you can call the mundane amble through the streetlit byways of Sydney jogging) to then take a minute or two to check the in-box and think about a quick shower before heading off to work.
It was then the cock crowed for the first time if you get my drift.
Arise Sir Nice Guy said my head - the body however had other ideas and suddenly and without warming came the dreaded - ohhhhhhhh . . .
. . . where did that come from? I chastised myself and that part of the MNG body, mind or inner soul which allowed such an audible insult to even consider making its way to the outside world.
Passing it off as just a momentary flicker on life's screen - I showered, had breakfast and made my way to work. So far so good - or so I thought.
In fact I'd no sooner entered the kingdom of the eternally indebted than I was asked what I thought of Justin Bieber.
Now, I know of Justin Bieber, in fact I even know a few of his songs and the fact he is in Australia at present for a concert tour - however this is when the cock crowed for the second time . . . .
When I referred to Justin Bieber as the new Leif Garratt - eyes averted and the conversation turned from the jingle jangle of youthful banter to Paul Simon and Art Garfunkle's Sounds of Silence.
It was then I realised that no-one - and I mean no-one knew who the heck Leif Garratt was . . . Can the earth just open up and swallow me whole now?
No wait - there's still a chance that this was all just a bad day going even more pear-shaped - which is about the best I could hope for at this point, alas!
Now the safe option would have been to simply fein illness and hunker down somewhere away from any form of communication or social interaction - but hey - I'm a high roller - so live life on the edge I thought and let's see the day out.
Wrong move!
Having successfully navigated my way through the rest of the morning and afternoon - I thought it best that I take my frustration out at the gym, figuring that pin loaded machines, steel plates and motorised treadmills would probably make for reasonable company - and not readily known for questioning anyone integrity.
Towel under one arm, ipod in hand, a youngster, no older than probably 3 or 4 darted out just as I was about to enter the premises - looking one way and running in the other. Now I'm sure there's a theory about this - but let's just say that when a runaway four-year-old and an 'old bloke' met unexpectedly something's gonna give . . .
Well, needless to say an apologetic mother (who I suspect would have been at least 10 years younger than my good self) fronted junior and insisted he say sorry to 'man' - I thought at least good manners were still a part of today's menu - it wasn't until I heard a couple of 15 or 16 year olds talking on the gym floor later about 'that's the old guy that the kid ran into before' - that I realised that my time had indeed come.
Now, just for the record, I'm pretty much writing this all off as just one of 'those' days - but I can't help but think of Phil Connors and that damn alarm going off at 6 each morning to the strains of Sonny and Cher . . .
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Comment by Jason King
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Working at the cinema most of all the people I work with I could have fathered - a couple of them I actually may have Hehe
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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To better help answer your question check out this . . . ouch . . . ugly memories evoked!
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Cheers
Comment by Jason King
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