The High School Crush
February 2nd 2013 22:35
You know. The kind of hopeless crush where saying “hi” required more nerve and energy than negotiating the freeing of hostages in some UN settlement.
And, while I can’t remember which night the bins need to be taken out, I do have an ridiculously manic ability to remember the courage it took and conversations I had with those I looked on with awe.
Statistically speaking, you’d think that at least one would have reciprocated in some way but none ever did.
I was usually relegated to the title of friend, which in high school parlance is kinda like 'excuse me while I wedge that machete into your feelings'.
Remember going though the machinations? Remember how you would ask your friends in some surreptitious and cryptic fashion about a particular boy or girl and you'd find amazingly clandestine means to try to attract their attention without looking too obvious?
Yes, yes - I hear you muttering to yourself. So long ago no doubt - but go on - deny that it never happened to you . . .
It's the stuff being a teenager is made of.
Of course, then there's the 'payback'. The almost sadistic plans poor ol' forelorn teens play over in their mind (to either re-establish their own place in the high school food chain) or simply try and get their head 'back in the game' through stealth.
Go on admit it!
In fact one of the better 'paybacks' of recent time came courtesy popstar Katy Perry who played a show at her high school and managed to slam the boy who once rejected her in a truly epic burn.
Returning to her Californian high school to perform for students, she spotted the high school crush who refused to date her.
When Perry asked the crowd if that was 'so and so' in the audience - the rebuke was either just plain vicious or simply the closure she only ever dreamed of - depending on your thought processes.
"You were the most popular kid in my class," Perry piped up.
"But you never wanted to date me... Oh yeah, you really chose right, honey. What's up?"
She then started singing 'You're So Gay'.
Perhaps a little harsh - but obviously a repressed angst which (hopefully) she's now over (we can only hope).
Yep - end of the day, the high school crush is part and parcel of growing up. It's a rite of passage we all must travel and if we're lucky can look back on with fondness.
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