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Great One Liners - What's Yours?

December 6th 2007 21:00
The world is divided into two kind of people.

Those of us who can - and those of us who wish we could!

Deliver great 'one-liners' that is.

How often have you needed a witty retort to that smart-arsed comment from your boss, a wise-crack from a passer-by or off the cuff slurr from a workmate - only to flounder at your time of need.


How often do you come up with just the right line 30 mins later - promising yourself that 'next time' you'll be armed and ready - only to fall flat in the face of adversity.

Can't we all be like Jerry Seinfeld?

Can't we all have the rapier wit of Groucho Marx?

Here's a few to get us started:

"Hey - my wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator. "

"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid"

"Would you mind speaking a little slower - I'm not fluent in Idiot"

"It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off."

So . . . whatcha got punk?

Ah - wise guy , nuk nuk nuk . . . .

Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop . . . .


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Comments
9 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Tracy

December 6th 2007 21:06
Hi MNG

I'm part of the half that only thinks of something to say after the event....hmmmm...

Ah well,

Tracy

Comment by Mr Nice Guy

December 6th 2007 21:36
Hey Tracy

I'll be expecting a witty one liner in about 30 minutes then - huh?



MNG

Comment by Tracy

December 6th 2007 21:43
Yep, that would be about right! He he..

Comment by Andy 2

December 7th 2007 03:16
The french have a word for it - 'd'esprite de l'escalier' - 'the spirit of the stairs'. Its what you think of on your way out of a party, going down the stairs, after the event.
I suppose because out of the heat of the moment your mind starts functioning more effectively.

Comment by Michaelie

December 7th 2007 05:04
I know you are but what am I?

I regress to primary school.

Then I replay the conversation over and over in my mind (and sometimes aloud) for roughly three weeks, building scenarios of how it would have gone if my wit was of the quick-draw variety.

Like me, my quips are always fashionably late, and every now and then, they miss the party all together.

Michaelie

Comment by Mr Nice Guy

December 7th 2007 05:43
Andy 2

If only I had a little more French blood.

Merci pour se laisser tomber près

MNG

Comment by Mr Nice Guy

December 7th 2007 05:46
Mich

Nothing wrong with being fashionably late sometimes.

While it's not exactly apt - loose lips do sometimes sink ships.

Better to get the whole floatilla sometimes.

Thanks for calling in and having a chat.

MNG

Comment by Miswanderlust

December 19th 2007 05:59
MNG


Here are my votes:

1. Can't fix stupid
2. A father is someone who carries pictures where his wallet used to be
3. Better to have your enemies in your tent pissing out then out of your tent pissing in


Mis

Comment by Dee5

December 31st 2007 09:47
My boss is always saying how when I say or do silly things that it's because of my blondeness. My reply? "Well I get mine out of a bottle. What's your excuse?".... I love seeing him lost for words.

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