Left Handed People Are Evil!
September 16th 2008 23:49
Left, Right, Left, Right. Do Lefties march to a different tune?
In fact on one count, the bible contains over 100 favourable reference to the right-hand and 25 unfavourable references to the left-hand.
According to superstition if you see a shooting star, someone has died. Some say if it shoots to the right, they went to heaven, but if it shoots to the left, they've gone to hell.
Evil spirits lurk over the left shoulder - throw salt over this shoulder to ward them off.
Getting out of bed with the left foot first means that you will have a bad day while ringing in the right ear means that someone is praising you. In the left ear it means that someone is cursing or maligning you.
An itchy right palm means that you will receive money. An itchy left palm means you will have to give money.
Wedding rings worn on the third finger of the left hand originated with the Greeks and Romans, who wore them to fend of evil associated with the left-hand
When dressmaking it's believed to be bad luck to sew the left-hand sleeve onto a garment before the right sleeve.
So many evils . . . lucky then that when it comes to pencil sharpers, scissors, rulers, tin openers, watch dials even . . . even boomerangs are they are all designed to cater for only the 'good in society'.
They look just like us, they speak our tongue - but be afraid - very afraid!
How do I know all this?
One of those 'who walk amongst us' used the tentacles the devil gave her to seduce my thinking.
Thankfully none of our three children were born with the 'affliction'.
There is a true and just God - the lucky ones apparently sit on his 'right hand'
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Comment by Dianna G
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~Dianna
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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Dianna - say three Hail Mary's and plead for your soul
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
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~Dianna
Comment by Ann 2
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
But isn't it like the water going down the plug hole a different way when you live in either the northern or southern hemispheres?
So if you journeyed down here to Oz surely (as you cross the equator) you would miraculously turn right handed . . . eh!
Comment by Ann 2
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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Something to go on with really.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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however i myself can only write and throw with my right hand . . . i carry my handbag on my left shoulder though . . . my left eye is the more short-sighted one when i get glasses . . . i open jars and bottles with my left hand
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
We all know homosexuals, artists and creatives are evil - or apparently so according to some Orblean bloggers.
As for you - well . . . does that make you just bad - and not truly evil or just left of centre - do'h - there I go again.
Comment by Geoff Egan
Cinema XYZ
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Ah well. Left for Life!
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
No doubt a piece written by a leftie - who by the way no doubt smudged the page as they wrote
Cheers
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
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Take heart, redemption is at hand, I know becuase I .. have .. been ... saved *tongue-in-cheek (firmly)* ... thanks to my loving mother, who did not leave me to grovel amongst the other evil beings and leftist ghouls, no no no.. but took it upon herself to give the good lord a helping hand in his creation of perfection by beating my left hand with some implement (like a wooden spoon or whatever was handy at the time), repeatedly; every time it reached out. eventually of course, defeated, it no longer did.
It was then that her compassion knew no bounds, *cringe* when my right hand first took on the role of my dearly departed lefty, (after which, btw, she also soon departed, like Mary Poppins, her good deeds having been accomplished I s'pose?).
Clever little lab rat that I am, I am predominantly right handed these days, and with all this evil purged from my sorry being, I am now also as pure as the driven snow *chuckle* ... although my brain never got over it and I still get things so back to front and upside down, as to make a Dyslexic look like a spelling genius, especially when I'm hormonal!
Yep, that's the way it used to be done, thank God we don;t have to become our parents!
Non-Lefty Lilla ...
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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Dlyxsia is unfotrnatly one of teh pirce yuo pay for teh evil that dwlles withni.
Chreers
Comment by Damo
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Comment by Jeannine Baird
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I like it! I'd put one on my car.
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out of protest i am typing this entire comment with my left hand (hence the no caps). i too am EVIL! (caps lock there)
i agree many lefties are geniuses
just to name a few - ::looks at your icon:: don adams, u.s. presidents - garfield, hoover, truman, ford, reagan, the first bush, clinton, benjamin franklin, joan of arc*, alexander the great*, henry ford, jfk jr, caroline kennedy, lenny bruce, bart simpson (that's right i said bart simpson), authors twain, carroll, h.g. wells, david byrn, kurt cobain, jimi hendrix, robert plant, mccartner, ringo, paul simon, michelangelo, raphael, leonardo da vinci (the artists not the turtles)
this is swiftly becoming a good topic for a series of posts about famous southpaws lol
anyway, i am fine with being lefthanded - it is the world being right-handed that upsets me! lol 90% of stuff is setup for righties! ned flanders's leftorium is an amazing idea really.
btw if i wind up in a hell - least now i can blame it on being left-handed.
one last comment I HATE GREEN-HANDLED SCISSORS!
gene
Comment by Always Eighteen
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
You're 'right' - there have been many anti-Christ's who have tried to influence our thinking over the years - and so many (Clinton of course was damned, Ford - any colour so long as it's black, Joan of Arc - met the fires of hell, kurt cobain - designed his own demise, Ringo - hmmmm yaddah yaddah yaddah).
Repent! There is still time.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
A real threat to mankind.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Indeed.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
It's true!
Besides - how many times have you seen a polar bear with a pen in its right paw?
Huh
Cheers
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
It's your lucky day. Consider yourself smited.
Cheers
MNG
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Right on sister!
Stay well.
Comment by Janet Collins
The Social Critic
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I was given as a gift a left-handed bodem. I didn't realise it was such - I just thought I was being a clutz at not being able to pour out of it without spilling - until my father said to me "I think this is one for a left-handed person". I have to say I felt relieved. It wasn't just me spilling it all over the place. I am right-handed.
Janet
Comment by Jeannine Baird
Clean Green Neen
I think Daddy's taking the Mick!
Comment by Janet Collins
The Social Critic
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Janet
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Ever been asked to buy a tin of striped paint before?
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
You beat me to it.
Mind you - I think you could probably market left handed tea cups, bodems - perhaps even spoons.
Yep, yep, yep, yep . . . .
Thanks for dropping by
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Whatever works for you.
Cheers
Comment by Jeannine Baird
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Neen
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Comment by Lara M
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Of course.
Let's fabricate the myth that all existing spoons et al are already left handed and then market to the righties - 90% bigger market.
Why didn't I think of that.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Think the left side of your brain is taking a hold there.
But thanks for visiting.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Possibly the worst of dilemma's . . . they can choose when and when not to be evil.
Be very wary of the ambidextrous - they are not the be trusted.
Comment by Anonymous
Why?
Because he said left handed people are evil...
And who more than him is evil?
He hates a lot of stuff: left handed people, homossexual, artists and creatives....
Pleople that hate alot can't be a "Nice guy"