Politeness vs Political Correctness
August 7th 2007 01:22
Take the other day for example.
There I was coming out a store in the city when I noticed a young lady about to enter.
Wanting to do the ‘right’ thing I smiled and held the door ajar for the 20-something, well suited and heeled café-latte type – only to be greeted with – “I’m capable of opening the door myself thank you very much . . .”
Reeling from the retort – I made my way to station to catch the train – which as is common place – was both crowded and late.
It was there I had reason for the second time that day to act on the principles taught to me by my father and his father before him.
With ne’re a seat to be had – an elderly woman entered the carriage – obviously struggling with both her circumstance and longevity.
Noting that a young man – ipod attached - was either oblivious to, or ignorant of, this senior’s plight – I asked (in mooted tones) if he would consider giving up his seat as a gesture of respect and, well . . . just plain courtesy.
“Waddya want man,” was the Green Day T-shirt wearer’s first response.
Gesturing to the matter at hand – I was told by the young non-conformist that he’d only just got to sit down – and who was I to get off on him.
Begrudgingly he stood.
The day got me thinking – if only remorsefully about how far (in my own eyes at least) that we’d slipped.
Sure – there’s patronizing – but opening doors for people, affording a little respect to those less abled, even simple thankyou’s appear to be vanishing from our social credo.
Maybe I’m out of step – and perhaps I am a little too yesterday sometimes – but it’s the little things which are still ingrained in me – which rightly or wrongly I still take a pride in.
Opening the car door for my wife, walking on the escarpment side of the street when in the presence of a lady, offering a warm handshake upon being introduced to a new acquaintance, standing when a lady leaves the table or enters the room in a business environment – these things may be a little trite – but surely I shouldn’t be ridiculed or abused for the life lessons – be they ever so humble – passed down from father to son.
“Good manners, my boy – they cost very little,” my dad would say.
Seems today – that inflation and the modern climate means there’s unfortunately a price to be paid.
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Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Standing when a lady leaves or arrives at a table, though... I haven't seen that being done for a long time.
I'm always surprised when people don't let old ladies sit down. And then I'm always pleasantly surprised when someone does!
Comment by Louie
Climate Forum
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
don't compromise your princiapls for them, they will have to learn the hard way....
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
It's one of life's little paradox's isn't it? We shouldn't be surprised when the niceties of society happen - but unfortunately you're spot on.
Thanks for calling by
MNG
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
You're right of course - and generalising about the Gen Y's out there is a dangerous thing - but no doubt they'll let their voices be heard - which is sometime symtomatic of the problem.
Thanks for your support - old habits (no matter how old) are hard to break.
Kind regards
MNG
Comment by Brenton
Dr Spin
Tales From The Other Side
Downwrite
Blip Blog
Gadget Museum
Honestly I agree that the ipodder and Doorgal were pretty damn rude. I really don't see that rudeness is unique to my generation though...
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Definitely not unique. But unfortunately some Gen Y's have made it an artform.
Appreciate your candidness and thanks for taking the time.
Regards
MNG
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
I don't understand people who don't give up a seat for elderly people. I always offer my seat.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Believe it!
I was taken aback too. You'd have thought I run a stake through their latte - and the looks from others who didn't realise what was going on - made me shrink.
Thankyou for your support. It's nice to be nice.
MNG
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
She may have control issues. And very insecure to not know the difference between 'patronizing' and courtesy.
The i-pod people generation...well...it's not just them...I've seen a big change in manner and attitude and civility towards others.
"Excuse me''...if used at all, is used in a rude sarcastic tone.
"Thank you" is an archaic term reserved for Oscar speeches.
...but I truly believe the majority (of society) is NOT like this.
It was just your day to meet 2 prime examples of What Not to Be.
Don't change. you're not alone.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
I sincerely hope you're right. By nature I like to think the most of people and believe that like will be treated with like.
I've been buoyed by comments such as yours and heartened by the knowledge that I'm not alone.
Thanks for your words of encouragement.
MNG
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
If you wake up and drink one or two cups of coffee, followed by Macca's, then perhaps some Pepsi Zero phenelkylites and some 'smokey-fresh air'... all followed at morning tea by some sugar in the shape of cheesecake or better yet, a doghnut or two. Still not a drop of water, until it's time for a couple Codral, to help you "soldier on," chased down by another double espresso cafe latte...all by 3pm... in time for afternoon coffee, some mud cake and perhaps a late afternoon Diet coke and fries...
...day after day...
*sigh* I'm surprised today's average young person even recognises that they are a part of the human race at all.
In fact like it or not, we've all become so "genetically modified and politically correct"... and you want manners too?
I think the frilly hem slip of my age is showing again *chuckle*
Lilla ...
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Frilly hem slip or not - your observations are both keen and most probably quite accurate.
As for throwing good manners into the genetic mix? Well that would be nice.
The good grace to accept that some people actually care rather than simply co-exist would be an excellent starting point.
Thank you for both your social commentary skills and your support.
Regards
MNG
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Like Dusk said, I don't think the majority of society are like that, you just had bad luck meeting two nit-wits in one day.
Keep opening those doors, Mr Nice Guy!
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
When one door closes another opens - and Orblers have been opening the doors of support all round!
Yep - starting to feel a whole lot better knowing that all is NOT lost and that perhaps I it was just - one of those days?
Thanks for calling by and offering your support.
MNG
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
I'm on the cusp of boomer and gen-X-- whatever stupid label they're using to differentiate people by their age nowadays. They call us "The Lost Generation". You'd think the media could come up with better things to do.
Anyway, Gen-Y is only the latest model since manners started developing a stigma in the 1960s. Misguided hippies and women's-libbers started construing certain mannerly acts as being "fake" and "condescending", in that order. That was the beginning of the trouble.
I don't claim ignorance because I grew up after all that had started..it doesn't take the brains of an amoeba to figure out that good manners-- especially now that they are such a rarity-- always put one at a distinct advantage over the knuckle-dragging goons that roam our public establishments.
Good manners: get faster and friendlier service, make a good impression on those who might be in a position to help or hire you, and foster greater toleration and understanding with strangers that you just accidentally spilled your coffee on in the bus. They also frequently inspire others to treat you courteously.
Bad manners: get old and annoying very quickly in relationships, get one's food spit into by angry waiters/cooks, get your name dropped to the bottom of the wait list, and form a bad impression on everyone else. They also beget even worse manners in others.
If late boomers, gen-Xers, losties, and gen-Yers are too dumb to figure that out for themselves, it's their loss.
Bravo to you and all the rest of us who do practice good manners. Keep up the good work--maybe others will learn from your good example.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Words escape me. You sound passionate - which is a quality to be admired.
I was certainly not looking for plaudits - but a heartfelt thanks on behalf of everyone who subscribes to the politics of politeness.
Thankyou
MNG
Comment by Jim Stillman
Political Certainty
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Old codger or not - good manners probably never go out of style.
Thanks for calling by
MNG