What ever happened to ‘Please’
May 22nd 2008 22:25
What Ever Happened to Please?
As part of a social experiment, I’ve spend a good deal of the week with my ears pricked as people from all walks of life have made everyday requests of others.
Now I understand that this ranks right up with “hasn’t he got better things to do with his life” – but in an office environment at least – it’s easy to pick up on social interaction let alone requests for dutiful actioning of tasks.
Now for what it’s worth – it was drummed into me that ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ were inexpensive common courtesies – to the casual observer it showed a degree of respect and acknowledgement toward the person you were addressing.
For the more socially ingrained it displayed a so-called ‘better upbringing’ and separated you from those “rude children” who didn’t know any better.
Fast forwarding to my adult life, and why is it that so many people – appear to have relegated the word 'please' to almost a subservient place in our dog eat dog world.
From office managers whose idea of asking politely is;
“ (insert name here) . . . you’re right to be able to do this aren’t you?”
. . . to simple requests from 9-5-ers and their colleagues "can you give me a lift home"
- it appears in fact that we have to almost emit a plea to get a please these days.
I’m afraid I might be fast becoming a dinosaur (in the office space at least) and find it neither beneath me nor a sign of ‘soft leadership’ to punctuate a request with please – followed of course with a thank you.
Perhaps I’m out of step . . .
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Comment by Roni Askey-Doran
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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. . . and of course thanks for taking the time.
Stay well.
MNG
Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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Nice pick up Cibby.
Comment by tlcorbin
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Comment by Miswanderlust
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Great Post:
I dug this out of a paper written by one of my college professors:
The terms "please" and "thank you" mark of the service or gift as a free service or gift. Free in the sense that it is not done by compulsion, not that it is done for no price. Literally, "please" is short for "may it please you...." When we say "thank you", we are saying that we are giving good thoughts for the other person, or holding the other person's desires in mind. "Thank" has the same etymological root as the word "think".
To point out that the gift or service is being given at the pleasure of the giver and not of the receiver. It is a mark that the gift or service is not a compelled gift and a sign of lower status, but is a free gift and a sign of comparable status.
"Please" and "thank you" are terms that help show others that we do not consider them as slaves or subordinates. By saying "please" and "thank you", we show others that we are concerned with their "pleasure" and that we are "thinking" of them. Using these terms, then, are very important. When other people help us they put themselves in a vulnerable position. By using these terms, we show that we do not consider them our inferiors.
Mis
Comment by Roni Askey-Doran
My mother has asked me that too... She thinks I'm running away from something. (such an optimist!)
However, my siblings think I'm looking for something...
In fact, I like to think of my perpetual travel more as a continuation of my education without the restrictions of borders. The only thing that limits where I can go is my own fear... and that doesn't exist...
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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Alas . . . it (unlike the dodo) has flown the coop almost.
Cheers
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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We're we separated at birth?
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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Didn't we meet when I was in your country only a month ago - that Sombrero looks soooo familar.
MNG